Thursday, November 16, 2006

Settling In

I know it's been over a week now since my last post. It's not that I have nothing to say, quite. A lot of it is time and inclination, and also a certain intimadation factor. Just as in my "real" writing, I hold myself to a high standard set by those I admire, and so it goes with this blogging business, too. Just like a baby duck will waddle after the first warm, breathing thing it sees and call it mama, so it goes that some of the first blogs I read and modeled myself after are done by some awfully creative and/or talented and/or funny folks who obviously have huge stores of wit and creativity and time that I can only aspire to. (Insert reminder here that I have an almost-two-year old and extremely spirited four-year-old. But still.)

I never set out for this to be a so-called "mommy blog," in which I detail every day's new adventures in snot and tears and hard-earned wisdom. There are already plenty of women out there doing that, not that the blogosphere doesn't have room for one more. I really hoped that I'd write a little about the kids, and a lot more about my interior life, and what I'm reading, or listening to, or baking or buying or decorating this week. It's just that, well, the kids really do take up such huge chunks of my mental and physical focus and energy, that by the end of the day, it's hard to form a coherent thought -- much less a sentence. And then I click over to one of the crafting blogs I frequent, and see this sort of thing. So much for using the kids as an excuse, when this woman has the skills & organization to make birthday gifts ahead of time for her children's friends. And here I can barely get my lazy ass to Target the day before a party that Lily's been invited to. It can make a girl depressed and a little self-castigating. (But what doesn't?)

Anyway. So, I'm still around and still feeling my way around this blogging business. I think about my little blog a lot, and compose posts in my head, but I know that's not quite the same. Trust me, it's all up here (she says, tapping noggin mysteriously).

Speaking of settling in -- this week I sent out a little feeler e-mail to three women I know about having them and their spouses and children over here for a little festive get-together next month. That may not sound like much, but to me, it's pretty huge. Most of my entertaining has revolved around my warped and stunted extended family, so having real people over -- well. Get me the Prozac prescription now, because I'm not sure I can handle it. It's another example of how much I've come to regard Temecula as home. Last night, I remember having some snippet of a dream in which I was standing before a large stand of trees swaying in the wind, and knowing it was Temecula, and thinking how I didn't want to leave. Huh.

The picture above was taken a few weeks ago in the early morning, before Daylight Savings Time ended, when it was still a little gray and still out when I'd wake up at 6:30. I like the way the trees look, with that warm, golden, sun-just-cresting-over-the hills glow, and that second balloon in the distance, half-hidden in the wispy clouds. The children were both still snug in their beds, and I got to savor this for a moment or two, before Lily called out "mommy??!!" in that panicked way she does every morning, and another day was off to a roaring start.


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