Meh

Yeah, that's right. You heard me. My first blog in over a month, the first of the new year, and all I have to say is: Meh. (I'm a blogger now, you know, so I can say that.)

Big plans for the new year. Things to learn, things to read, places to go. Obsessions to blog about. For instance: I got a sewing machine for Christmas. A sewing machine! I told my mom about it on Christmas night, and she nearly spit out her drink, a perfectly reasonable reaction to that astounding fact. I OWN a sewing machine. I don't know how to use it. I go to visit it sometimes, and touch it's cool white plastic case, but right now, I feel like Myk may as well have bought me a....carburetor, say, because I have about as much clue as to what to do with the thing. It's important to note that I asked for the sewing machine. I have big plans for things such as pillows and curtains and maybe even aprons. Yes, I said aprons. That's another post entirely

But today is January 3. The staging area for the rest of the year. I hate January. So.....meh. The learning curve to the whole year is before me, and it feels like the sheer face of El Capitan at Yosemite. I have to learn how to use my new machine. I have to reseach and surf the web for literal hours until my eyes start to bleed until I find the perfect vacation for us to go on later this year. I have to pick the perfect color to paint the kid's playroom. This will all be lots of fun when the time arrives, but it's all out there, waiting, in the days and months ahead. But today, on January 3....not so much.

Also. I'm feeling really, really "meh" about Temecula again. I like the cold nights, the open sky, the views of distant low mountains from the upstairs windows, the excellent API score of the elementary school down the block (because I hear such things are important to the eternal souls of my children). I don't like the puffy blonde women with their puffy fat flip-flopped French manicured feet with the "NOTW" stickers on their SUVs who seem to make up so much of the population. Or their husbands, in their big white pick up trucks, either. And while I've meant some fine, fun people to spend an hour or an evening with, overall I'm left with that frustrated, champing-at-the-bit feeling I've felt throughout life from about fourth grade onward, when I feel like I need to reign in my vocabulary, my comments, my general IQ, to fit in with the crowd. It sucks and I'm tired of it. (Yeah, I know what a horrible elitist snob I sound like, but give me a break. Because the fact remains that while you sit in your town reading this, I am, in fact, still right here in Temecula. The place, I admit, I decided that we should move to three years ago.)

In light of all that, I'm thinking maybe this image would be great to put in my guest bathroom, which needs a new spot of art. A conversation piece, no? It's from the Art & Ghosts shop on Etsy. I actually really like some of the photographs very much, but admit that I'd probably be a little creeped out by this number above if I was alone in the bathroom after midnight. And I also realize that putting them in my bathroom would be a little too purposely eccentric, and I'm not seventeen anymore. I'm supposed to have outgrown that urge to perturb the grown ups, right?

Anyway. So, sorry if the first blog of the year is sounding a little bored and hostile. I'm just feeling a little bored and hostile today. Which, y'know, just all adds up to a big Meh. (Especially as described in definition #4)

Cheers!